This week’s guest blogger is Catherine Townsend-Lyon, an author, blogger and marketing guru. Catherine lives in Arizona and is a recovering gambling addict. For the next three weeks, Catherine will feature segments of her book “Addicted to Dimes” in this blog.
Baffling Exposure
Another part of this addiction that baffled me was the medical side of the disease. When you see people with drug or alcohol addictions, by most outward appearances, you can usually tell when someone is under the influence.
With a gambling addiction, the chemicals in your body have the same effect as substances do for other addicts. I just could not wrap my head around that. Gambling addicts have the same types of physical symptoms such as the shakes from withdrawals, feeling sick to one’s stomach, sweats and chills. The feelings of fear, hopelessness, emotional and mental blackouts and suicidal thoughts after a gambling binge or relapse, and after the reality of the devastation you’ve just caused financially … feeling the loss of control, and powerlessness over being able to stop gambling. You’re on edge and stressed all the time, and often thinking about how, when and where you will gamble again, and how to get the money. There is a never-ending gambling cycle. It runs in many phases. This was the most important thing I learned later on, in intense therapy, with a guy who came to my aid in 2006. I will share more about that later in this book.
I learned with the cycle of my addiction, it goes in an insane cycle when you cross the line into uncontrollable gambling. I also learned there are many reasons why we turn to compulsive gambling in the first place. It can be from childhood or adult traumas, or events like child abuse, sexual abuse, or mental and emotional abuses. It could be from some underlying behaviors, a death, or that you may have grown up with addicted gamblers. You use it as a coping skill or as an escape from everyday life.
The cycle of my addiction starts with the winning phase. At first, you seem to win often, which makes you want to gamble more often. I remember how the feelings of excitement build, and how I thought I could win enough to make all my dreams come true, and pay off my bills. That’s when you start increasing the amount you bet, and how much money you bring to play with. I’d tell everyone how I won all the time. (Red flag of denial.) Then you’ll go through the losing phase. That is, when I noticed I was gambling more by myself. That’s when I started to lie and cover up the money I lost, and when I started to obsess about gambling all the time. I started to borrow money from family and pawned some jewelry. Bills started being late and I noticed a change in my attitude and personality.
Finally, after several years, I got into a desperate phase. I started feeling hopeless. I fought with my husband a lot, and I blamed our financial problems on things other than my gambling. I lost time from work, family and friends. I was gambling every chance I got, then more credit cards and more debt. I stole, lied and cheated. My reputation and good character was damaged. All that and more happened before I got help.
I hope you enjoyed reading the first few sections of Catherine’s book, Addicted to Dimes. The series will continue for the next two weeks. We know in recovery that we turn to addiction for many reasons, and that we can recover without knowing the reasons why we walked down such a dark path. And sometimes, we discover some of the underlying issues of why the addiction sucked us in.
Author, Catherine Townsend-Lyon lives in Arizona writes a blog on her web site: https://catherinelyonaddictedtodimes.wordpress.com/author/kitcat4459/
And works with other authors on marketing their books at:
https://anAuthorandWriterinProgress.wordpress.com
You can Email her at: LyonMedia@aol.com
